Everyone will encounter a moment of separation from the last life and death. How to "distinguish well from the deceased" is a very difficult subject. Su Zhihui’s counselor teaches you how to “speak well and see each other”. In addition to wishing the other party a good journey, he also promises to take good care of himself.

I wish you can feel the peace and peace of mind, and to those who have left, no matter how many years you have passed, you will feel at ease and peace in your heart, and to those who have left, "So, I can say it again," and embrace life, embrace relationships, and love again, because this is what tragedy really wants to teach us.

The father passed away from terminal liver cancer. At the last moment, his daughter was told that

Yu Xiao was studying abroad. When Yu Xiao was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, but in order not to affect Yu Xiao's education, his father asked the whole family not to tell Yu Xiao, because his father was worried that if Yu Xiao knew about it, he would return to China without regard for everything and miss the ongoing class. Yu Jing's father believed that he was still incurable, and he also believed that after two months, Yu Jing returned to China on holiday and the whole family would be able to gather. However, my father's condition was rapidly deteriorating. Although he had been treated, his reaction was not good. He suddenly became weak and weak. In less than a month, my father passed away in the mood of his family helplessness and shock.

It was also at this time that Yu Jing received a call from his mother crying and losing voice: "Your father is no longer here" Yu Jing didn't know what happened, nor did he understand how he would be told at the last moment, and he could not accept that he was not with his father when he was most painful and vulnerable. From the beginning of the flight, Yu Ling's feelings were complicated: she couldn't imagine what it would be like if her father was gone, and she also wondered where he would go if his father was gone. At the same time, Yu Ling also felt a deep sense of guilt. At this difficult time at home, she could not help anything and did not bear anything.

She even thought: It was not enough to let her father see that she had achieved success in her studies, it was not enough to let her father regard her daughter as a gift, and it was not enough to let her father live a peaceful and happy life. For a long time, the father supported the entire family. It was the father who worked hard to work as a water and electricity worker, and went from house to house, regardless of the wind and rain to contract the work, so that the children in the family could move towards their ideals and do things that they were interested in.

But how could my father say he could leave without waiting for her to return to him? Yu Ling didn't want to accept the fact that his father had left. Even though Yu Ling attended the crematorium later, she couldn't accept anything. How could a father who has been caring for the family and loving children be cremated into a pile of ashes? She told herself that when her father was just out of the door and was not at home for a while, she believed that nothing would be changed, nothing would have changed……

The courage of "Say Goodbye"

I have come to countless shocking and tragic stories. To "Say Goodbye" with the disappearing folds, it actually requires courage and psychological preparation; be calm, embrace blessings, and be full of love The truth of the word must be without harm (such as regret, self-belief, guilt, resentment, regret, anger), and willing to accept the facts of separation, admit that everything has changed, and be willing to bear the impact and pain brought by such changes.

If these conditions are lost, "Say goodbye" will become an incomplete flaw. The relationship between the two was forced to stop at a certain moment, unable to move forward or backward; it seemed that it was still in progress, but it seemed that it had ended. You no longer have new intersections of life, no new stories.

A good deed often requires calming and moistening. Sometimes it is necessary to create some warm atmosphere and a good feeling to become a complete deed.

If you die suddenly, there is no good condition for people to tell them smoothly. Not only does the negative energy make people breathless, but the harmful emotions are even overwhelming. The occurrence of separation is not due to self-despite, it is completely forced. In many situations, it is impossible to know who the culprit of life has changed. Therefore, the intention of Taoism has been reduced. No matter whether it is rational or emotional, it is difficult to accept that life is undetected, and it has changed from this.

It is beneficial to say that the difficulty of seeing again and the mentality

. If you don’t say it again, you can write various reasons to convince that your life has not changed and that your parents just leave at a time. In this way, you can continue to live with your past habits and styles. Without changing, you will not bring threats to others, nor will you bring powerlessness and setbacks.

As long as there is a change and needs to be changed, people have to experience and re-learning, adjusting, and knowing many things that they did not or did not know in the past. When everything is full and uncertain, people will inevitably experience that they do not understand or know a certain part of themselves, and even face that they are incapable of being able to do something and lack ability. Such difficulties and challenges will inevitably lead to feelings of setbacks and powerlessness. This is a period of extreme pressure and threat in life.

The frustration and powerless feeling brought by death comes from this. We will find that even if I have a lot of knowledge, professional identity, resources, finance, and plans, I cannot resist the harm of death and cannot prevent death from taking away people's lives or our own lives.

In the face of death, we cannot use any force. We want to do anything, but we cannot do it. At the same time, we will find that we have no idea about life and we cannot use the confidence and control we have built in the past. We don't understand why people are so small, fragile and imperfect.

This is the difficulty of "saying to see each other again"; you don't want to experience the powerlessness of yourself, and you can't make any effort. You are too powerless, helpless and fragile, and too much to bear. What is the case? Incapacity and helplessness are quite dangerous emotional energy, which can destroy a person's resolute will to survive and the power to survive.

But if you don't say that if you see it again, can you live as usual as you have never changed? The answer is often no. Even if you lose your relatives, even if you don't want to say goodbye because you are unable to face separation and change, the real life environment cannot successfully cover up the occurrence of facts; no one will start picking up or dropping off, no one will cook hot dinner, no one will wait for you to come home in the middle of the night, no one will fall asleep with you, no one will know your habits and preferences, no one will fight with you, everything will tell you: "This person has disappeared", "He will really never be around again."

So, the conflict between virtual and real exists in no time. This is the greatest pain—— I hope that life will not change, but I have to repeat it. Life has been changed suddenly by mercilessness. It seems like I was a abandoned orphan, being hurt or teased at will. No one can rely on it, and no one can provide safe protection.

"Good difference" is an important process to clear up tragedy.

Many people who have lost their feelings have raised their questions to me: Why have they not been able to stop the invasion of tragedy and anger? Why are they constantly trapped in grief? They suspected that grief would seem to be plaguing them forever. They even believed that they were not strong, brave, or good, so that they would succeed and allow them to experience fragility and powerlessness in the end.

However, this is not the case. It is not only if a person is not strong, brave, or good, that he will be occupied by tragedy. In fact, once you lose your family, the tragedy will come in the future like a wave of irregularities, fading, and fading again, fading again, and fading again, and the day without stagnation, unless life is not there. We must learn to keep a safe distance from the wave of grief so as not to be swept away, while allowing its existence, because it is both true and reasonable, from the real experience of life and memory that has existed.

Although tragedy is reasonable, it is absolutely a topic that requires long-term learning to cultivate trust relationships and tacit understanding with it. We must recognize sadness and know how to treat sadness and face it. At a certain moment, we can even appreciate sadness and enjoy the special scenery of this life. If you can be so fearless and sad, find the right steps and attitude again in the life where tragedy will last for a long time, and be willing to believe that your life can still realize certain meanings after being hit and damaged, you must complete the most difficult and fearful things —— and talk about them carefully again.

Learning how to complete the Taoist process will definitely bring many challenges and difficult restrictions, as well as many doubts, loneliness, and fears. The road is not easy to walk, but it is the must-see stop to the right time.

"Speak well and see each other" Let go and wish the other party a new journey

Say good and say goodbye to the fold, say goodbye to the fold is a promise and a blessing, and it is also a true expression of tragedy. When we say goodbye, we often bring dissatisfaction, but the reason why we are willing to say goodbye is because we know that we cannot keep the other party. Even if we have thousands of unwillingness, we cannot hold on to the other party. Because the other party has his journey, his direction, and his destination; we will tell you differently, because we know at this moment that the time of separation has arrived, and from the next moment, we will face a new journey and cannot accompany each other. In the careful and remarks, in addition to blessing the other party for a smooth journey, we also promise to take good care of ourselves and help ourselves face the unknown future.

cannot be denied or avoided. The process of Taoism includes unbearable sorrow and heartbreaking pain. But because of the pain and sadness that the difference can be accomplished, rather than being able to be blank and numb.

Saying to see again is not to be prepared to seal the memory from here, declaring that this person has nothing to do with you since then, but to confirm that although the relationship between the two people has been separated, it is still an important relationship and continues to exist in a different form.

This article records: Baoping Culture "So, I can say it again: Map of the Spirit of Sorrow"