It is not easy for young couples to start a family nowadays, and they may not necessarily be happy if their native family has strong financial support. A woman complained that her mother-in-law loved her granddaughter too much and always liked to give things and take care of her, which troubled her very much. The feeling of suffocation made her extremely stressed.

According to Japanese media reports, 31-year-old Miss A is a housewife who works part-time four days a week and lives with her husband and their daughter in kindergarten. Although it is not easy to balance childcare and work, she insists that she can make money on her own to have a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. When her children grow up, she hopes to become a full-time employee again.

What troubles her deeply is her 64-year-old mother-in-law who lives in the same city. In the early days of marriage, Miss A did not have a bad impression of her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law was neatly dressed and spoke softly, which made her think that such a mother-in-law should be happy to get along with.

After she informed her mother-in-law that she was pregnant, she handed her a note with 10 names of boys and 10 girls. From that day on, she sent LINE messages every day asking if she had decided, which made Ms. A feel mentally exhausted. In the end, the couple decided on their own name and told the mother-in-law, and her smile disappeared instantly.

"I want to see my granddaughter every day" Excessive interference after childbirth

After the birth, Ms. A originally planned to go back to her parents' home to recuperate, but her mother-in-law strongly opposed it after hearing about it: "How can it be possible? I want to see my granddaughter every day!" She immediately started shopping for baby products. Although Ms. A was grateful, the clothes and toys were not to their taste. What was even more troublesome was that her mother-in-law would ask if they had used them, which was quite intimidating.

After her child entered kindergarten, Ms. A specially adjusted her working hours so that she could pick her up and drop her off in person. One day, when she went to the garden, she found that the child had been taken away by her mother-in-law. After that, Ms. A often received LINE messages from her mother-in-law: "I happen to be nearby, leave the pick-up and drop-off to me today", which disturbed her greatly.

Financial aid with strong financial resources makes people unhappy

My mother-in-law comes from a well-known family, and her father-in-law is her adopted son-in-law. It is said that the family wealth exceeds 300 million yen (approximately NT$60 million), and she is not stingy in financial assistance.

One day, my mother-in-law came with tutoring materials for English, swimming, piano, etc., and said, "Girls must learn piano." A few days later, she even sent a piano directly, and bought curtains for their apartment and clothes for their daughter to wear for the press conference. This made Ms. A reluctantly say: "This is no longer helping, but the feeling of being dominated."

The husband chose to remain neutral, because her mother-in-law did not have a daughter, and she was too excited to have a granddaughter for the first time, so she did not mean any harm. But Miss A's pressure has reached a critical point: "My mother-in-law now has to intervene in middle school exams, employment, and marriage. Although I know she is out of concern, it seems like such troubles seem luxurious, but sometimes I really can't help but say, 'This child is ours, not yours.'"

Only when parents and children draw clear boundaries can they feel comfortable with each other.

Even with good intentions, it may become a heavy burden for the recipient. Her mother-in-law's financial support is indeed appreciated, but it also erodes Miss A's subjectivity as a mother.

How to protect "the parenting areas that parents should have" while receiving love and assistance is a difficult issue. Only by clearly setting boundaries can family members truly maintain a comfortable and respectful relationship.